It took a while but here I am again with this time a somewhat longer story.
Do you know that? That it feels as someone is pulling the rug under your feet away, that you have lost all control? Well I have. I haven;t had it for years but last holidays it happened again. Let me tell you what happened on our wonderful trip through Spain, what happened to me and what I have learned from it. Maybe you can benefit from the story.
The next parts describe in chronological order what happened and how slowly every form of my confidence disappeared. Read them if you want in one go or with little breaks in between, have a laugh about it and see the humor. Maybe you recognize one or more cases from your own life. Are you right in it then know that it is passing by eventually. Don't you want to read everything because it is too much reading, just pick out the blue lines and you will know why my world began to shrink, while I still could enjoy a fabulous journey.
Have fun!
OK, it is time, we are on our way to Spain with the caravan behind our car. At the roundabout in our village we needed to drive an extra round because of an ambulance with sirens and flashing lights was about to overtake. I saw him approaching, decided to drive this extra round and made way for him.
Fifteen minutes later on the highway there was a traffic jam and a huge row of cars. An accident few miles further down the road blocked the highway. Fast thinking made me decide to drive an alternative route however I was not the only one. After one whole hour, and 10 miles further we were on the go to Spain. One more stop to find a toilet and then at last, with big smiles and good spirit finally on our way. And it went fast and smooth. At the end of the afternoon we arrived at the planned camping site near the Loire in France. Closed! Due to heavy rain fall last week the camping was flooded. Caravans and tents slipped away in the mud and we were not allowed to spend the night there. The owner directed us 25 miles further down the road for an alternative. OK, tired but with good hope we continued the trip. Flash, a camera for speeding made a photograph of us, driving to fast @%##@!@^. At last we found a nice little camping site on higher grounds and we had a lovely night. "Well"we said to each other, "this was a different start of the holidays but it is good to be here".
The next day we enjoyed the next part of the journey. It is dry, not too warm, between 14 and 17 degrees Celsius. At the highlands around the Pyrenees even 10 degrees. And a rather strong wind. Hmm too cold to sit outside in the evenings.
After a few days of acclimatization in the middle of Spain en visitingsome beautiful cities we decided to go to the south coast. The weather in Sevilla showed 25 degrees and at the end of the week even 30. So goodbye to all earlier plans to go to Portugal, goodbye to all the pre work concerning routes and camping sites. And about Spain? I had no information about the south coast with me. Let's improvise and see where it brings us.
The tour to Sevilla was so beautiful. Our rout planner showed us the routes leading to the preferred camping site. It appeared to be in the middle of a nature park. The planner showed us a small road up a mountain and I got a strange feeling in the stomach, but we were already on the road and we could't turn. After 10 minutes climbing we saw some road works. The road was just repaired and the asphalt with stones was still a bit wet. Black tar was coming of the wheels and the road workers looked at us as if we were crazy. After a few more minutes we knew why. Dead end road in a small, very small village. No way to continue. No space to turn, so we had to uncouple the caravan, turn it and drive the car in front of it again to couple the caravan again to the car. And all that on a steep hill. I was so happy to have an electric mover mounted on the caravan. On the way down, we waved to the road workers who were just eating their lunch. I will never forget their faces.
Bach on the primary road we saw the sign of the camping site. It showed us the way into the nature park. We drove there alone. It was quite and the sign we saw earlier was the only one. The booklet we had showed that we must had seen the camping site already. However 5 miles further down the road no sign or sight of a camping site. We decided to stop and drove backward into a yard to achieve information and to decide what to do. Nobody there. Abandoned yard. Ok no what. We decided to give it a try and to drive 5 more miles. And here it was...my next moment. The drive way of the yard was so steep that our car had serious trouble to accelerate. I didn't understand and I began to smell the overheated clutch plates. (Later these holidays we took slopes that were double as steep without a problem...hmmm doubts..was it me doing something wrong than there????). 1 minute further down the road we saw the camping site!
At this site we had a marvelous time and from here we made some day trips to Sevilla.
On our way to the next camping stop, Cadiz at the sea. That last night was a beautiful and sultry night. We both saw a falling star and whispered our wishes simultaneously. We departed early in the morning and had to cross Sevilla again in order to reach the highway to Cadiz. Unfortunately the bridge leading to this autopista was closed due to repairs. Our way was re-routed...yes..through the city of Sevilla. A few minutes later were were standing still in a traffic jam and in the burning sun. WHAMMM. We felt a shock, the car was pushed forwards and the whole combination shifted across the road. *&^%$# What the...was that?
Somebody crashed into our combination from behind I said quietly. My inner however, was boiling with emotions. After the first check it appeared that a Spanish teenager had made a mistake because of other activities during driving. Well after all is was weekend you know. His car crashed and our caravan damaged. Police arrived soon at the scene and was hugely available. They helped us very well and after inspection of the caravan we thought it was safe to continue the journey. Ok the left side of the caravan was wrinkled, the left light was broken, but as if it was a miracle, everything seemed to work. And then we saw it. The tow bar of the car was bended and was not situated behind the car but under the car. Driving with the caravan was completely impossible. Wauw, if the collision was that hard what would be then the condition of the chassis of the caravan? More uncertainties.
More assistance was arranged by the Dutch ANWB company who called me back with the message that there was a Nissan dealer nearby and I could check in the next morning at nine for repair. What a miracle. A new tow bar was ordered and installed and in the meantime I checked the caravan. At twelve the car was repaired and at one pm we decided to leave this place and continue our journey to Cadiz. I taped some parts of the caravan together with duct tape and the behavior of the caravan behind the car felt as usual. So we took our chances and in the afternoon we arrived at the camping site at Cadiz. Aahhhhhhh, beautiful palm beach, blue see, white/yellow sand, and a warm sun. We surely did enjoy our swim there and soon all the negatives of the day were washed away in de Atlantic.
Oh, almost forgot to say, be careful what you wish when you see a falling star. We talked it over that night and it appeared that Anna and I had both exactly the same wish: a healthy and sound return in Holland after these holidays. Isn't that clear or what.
Better check it at the camping. After lunch we continued and twenty minutes later I heard a strange noise behind the car, near the caravan. It was if the caravan was breaking continuously. The car speed was lowering with same rpm of the engine so what was this, the hand break of the caravan, flat tire? With the crash still fresh in my mind I felt sweat on my back and some nasty scenario's came across my mind. And there wasn't any place to stop safely. Lots of traffic with low flying Spanish people. Three miles further down the road I saw a safe haven. Holding my breath I stepped out to look what was wrong. &^%$#@..The little front wheel of the caravan had come down for no reason and was overheated by the speed from spinning over the highway asphalt. Ok, that wheel is needed to maneuver the caravan on its place at the camping site. Well, the mover is broke, or not, this front wheel is perhaps not useable, how will this end? Well was the simple answer, you have the car to maneuver the caravan, unless there is no space enough.
Oh oh oh what is happening with and to us? All kinds of strange happenings that made us uncertain and pulled me out of my comfort zone. Right, for now, let's go...we were still parked along the highway, not the safest place on earth. And we know what can happen don't we?? However, Anna had this enormous confidence that it would all work out well for us, that we had enough guidance and indeed,...arrived at the next camping the mover worked, the front wheel was not completely damaged and we could switch over to 230 volts of the camping. Ahhh cold beer again. Oh one more thing....that evening my front tooth broke in half!
Again we lived a few beautiful warm days. Gracious cities, swimming, hiking, good food and wine....yeah, I got used eating with half a front tooth. However..laughing was difficult...the face is not what you might expect...ha ha. One morning we had again no power. During the night all power went down. Immediately I thought of the earlier problems. The switchboard in which I had plugged in the socket of the caravan was locked. Hmmm that wasn't the case last night. Maybe the owner of the camping had switched us of because we decided to stay one day longer and had not paid for that yet?
At te reception they told me that the whole area had a power down. Planned by the electricity company! Maintenance...28 degrees, freezers down, water supply too low pressurized to flush your..well you know. Spanish. But was I glad it was not our problem this time.
After a few days back on the road again to Cordoba. Good journey and we were getting used to the little challenges we had at that time. One thing I kept asking myself is what I had to learn from these challenges. Cordoba brought us joy, heat and lots of swimming time. A wonderful ancient history and palace like the one in Granada. One evening, ok after some wine and watching the stars, I ran into an open window and injured my fore head severely. A nice bump and bleeding cut of which Anna thought that stitches were needed. Oh no not for me, some band aid and pressure will do, and I went to bed with the question WHY? One more look at my watch gave me the information that it was broken and not to be repaired. PFFF. NOT MORE, LET ME SLEEP PLEASE, I DO NOT WANT MORE and falling a sleep I dream about coming home.
The next morning we were friendly wakened up by an airplane which is flying so low that you almost could touch it with a long stick. And it was not one fly by but several times. It appeared we were camping under the fly by zone of an airplane which was spraying the nearby field with probably pesticide. We were glad to already made the decision to go on with our journey. That day I noticed several people looking awkward to me, like I was kind of prisoner, or victim of an assault. Remember, I was looking gorgeous with the blue bump and cut on my fore head and the half tooth in my mouth. Victim, fighter, accident with caravan, poor man...I didn't care anymore. Come on let's go and yeah...problems with the mover again. Some improvisation did the trick and on we went.
Beautiful camping site near Madrid. Arrived in the afternoon after fuelling the car at a highway station.
Did they try to swindle me for 20 euro's. I had to think thoroughly and reason like an idiot (suddenly English wasn't understood anymore) but I won and got my 20 euro's back. At the camping site we wanted to make coffee and what happened...water pump not working anymore. Electricity was available so that was not the problem. Inspection learned that deep down under in the caravan one tiny connector was disconnected. After connecting it properly the pump worked as before. Haaa! Breathe! I suddenly got an idea and did more inspections and found more (half) disconnected connectors. Must have been the case the whole time. Maybe because of the hard smack of the collision the wiring was more or less damaged/disconnected. Everything checked and guess what...the mover began to recharge automatically. Things are about to change again!!
During the next days we enjoyed the area, the mountains and the everlasting snow and our hiking there.
On our way to Biarritz. Seen the woods, the famous beaches and waves of Les Landes and a lot of rain. Because of several warning about flooding we decided to stay in safety of the site.
On our way to Poitiers. Good trip. No unexpected problems anymore. I feel like longing to go home. I am tired after this long period and almost 7000 kilometers.
The camping site was an old estate with a wonderful old castle and houses. Finding the site was not easy and the route-planner showed us a very different way via a very small lane. All road signs leading to the site were disappeared. However the locals of the area recognized the problem and stopped their cars to show us the right direction. Unasked they all stopped, waved and smiled and pointed towards the right direction. What a welcome.
And there it was, via a very small gate (10 inches left on every side of the caravan) we reached the property.
My birthday as the landlord of the castle with a good and fine dinner with red wine made my day. Cheers, bottoms up.
With reasonable weather, dry, quite some wind and lower temperatures then normal we headed for home. Near Lille we had the last camping site. My stomach is not quite as easy as should be and it starts raining. Heavy winds are blowing. I am tired, wanna go home.
Wow great, we are back home. Cleaning was easy and quick. A lovely sleep during the night in a lovely bed. All good again until.....noisy neighborhood: refurbishing two houses in the street, street paved again, lots of stress with the people who are fed up with the weather here and still have to work and noise, noise noise. Wheeee, we want to go back to Spain!
OKthat was the story of my challenges and what did it bring me? I know that what you send out will be received again. But I am absolutely not sending out cases or energy like these challenges, am I? I do realize afterwards that we went well prepared for Portugal but that we decided last second to go to south of Spain. And there it started. I became unsure only by knowing we were unprepared for Spain. I knew nothing from this country and I received all kinds of scenarios in front of my mind's eye, of what could go wrong. That was my old me who came around the corner, my old survival strategies, my old ego (a 6 in the eneagram), they all made me create plan a till z just in case of. My common sense said that I did not needed this, but it was slipped into my system before I knew it. And if that fits with I want in life, you will get it!! But I want freedom, adventure, life, joy, experience and see beautiful things, meet wonderful people, quite some different than the challenges I asked for.
What happened is that an old, ancient part in myself was triggered to give it the chance to let go. As if an old computer program was still somewhere at the background, inactive, which was made active again by an outside event. I was given the opportunity to experience this and in a very conscious way to not only deactivate the program but also to delete it completely out of my system. And that last thing, to delete it permanently, is something we often forget to do.
And now new insights are pouring in slowly to fill in the gap of the old program.
1. whatever happens, I will be taken care of.
2. my perseverance is greater and stronger than I ever thought.
3. that despite what happens, I always can stay enjoying the beautiful things around me.
4. it is important to live in the moment of now.
5. my flexibility has grown the last years.
6. I can improvise better than I ever thought.
7. That all what I "need" in life is already here.
8. I realy and immensely love the wonderful beings around me.
It is a time in which nothing is fixed anymore. Changes take place in a rapid pace, growth is quicker than ever. Old challenges are popping up and make us doubt and falter, just to be able to say farewell to them. When we fight these challenges then it only takes longer. It is time for the new human in ourselves. We make more space in ourselves for who we really are and what we really want to do. That process is taking place with every human soul and can be quite difficult sometimes. The choice is ours to decide which path we want to walk, to open ourselves up for the assistance and the love around us, have trust in a development perfectly suited for us, then it will become easier.
With many thanks to my lovely wife Anna, who stood so near beside me this journey, surrounded me with her love and humor, so that I could go through this experience and at the same time could be able to enjoy it all.
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